If you want to be a winner, change your criticism philosophy now!

"Don't mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it; if it is fair; keep from irritation; if it is ignorant, smile; if it is justified, it is not criticism, learn from it." Anonymous

Isn’t it interesting how we don't always respond well to criticism, even when we ask for it?

We know that we are not perfect but somehow we would rather be praised and avoid being criticized. The reality though, is that as human beings, we are imperfect and other people may notice it, just like we notice flaws in others.

No matter what you do, you can't control what people will say. But you can control how you internalize it and act on it. 

Looking at criticism in a positive light requires a mind shift which will go a long way in building an individual and society at large. The question is: HOW?

Use criticism to frame your relationships 

First, let me confess that I can be quite argumentative and sensitive (as I'm often reminded by loved ones) when I feel criticized and this tends to affect my relationships in the moment and my mood. Over time, I realized that sometimes, the people criticizing some of our actions are genuinely trying to help but we may be so afraid of being judged that we take everything people say as condemnation. 

So instead of getting mad at a person who criticizes you in a manner you deem inappropriate, you can say: "I think you make a valid point, but I would receive it better if you didn't raise your voice or use an offensive language."

On the other hand, criticism also reveals to you who you are surrounded with.

As Steve Goodier said: 

"Who do you spend time with? Criticizers or encouragers? Surround yourself with those who believe in you. Your life is too important for anything less."

         Criticism can boost personal growth. 

Criticism encourages humility. It's never easy to accept or even recognize our weaknesses, yet it is crucial in our quest for personal growth to face our flaws and endeavor to correct them. 

"True humility is accepting criticism as graciously as we accept compliments." Sabrina Newby

Another virtue we can practice when faced with criticism is forgiveness. When we are wrongly criticized (or believe we are), we can choose to carry around the stress rather than forgiving.  As a result, we end up unintentionally directing our anger towards our family and friends. While it's not easy, criticism gives you a chance to practice forgiveness for peace of mind and character building.

"The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment." Elbert Hubbard 

Criticism builds you emotionally  

Receiving criticism that hits a sensitive spot helps you explore unresolved issues. Maybe you're sensitive about your physical appearance because you're holding onto something someone said to you years ago, something that you need to release. I remember being teased as a child, for looking frail, unfit and too weak to play sports. For a while, comments about my physical strength would feel like personal attacks. Eventually, I decided to work out which boosted my confidence (more than my muscles). That was an emotional boost. Perhaps, you also need to examine yourself and come to terms with something in your past? Search within and release it, you will reap emotional benefits. 

Winston Churchill said:

"Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things."

Another crucial element about criticism, is that it encourages questioning the tendencies that view praise as a good thing, and criticism as a bad one. Yet, if we recondition ourselves to see things in less black and white terms, we would be more open minded and grow as a result.

“Listen more to the one who criticizes you and less to the one who praises you. Learn from them and do something about it.” Paul Kagame

           Criticism builds self-confidence 

Learning to receive false criticism—feedback that has no constructive value—without losing your confidence is inevitable if you want to do big things in life. The more attention you receive, the more criticism you’ll face.

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." Eleanor Roosevelt

If you can’t take criticism, then, say nothing, do nothing and be nothing as Aristotle said. But is that what you really want?