Are you leading by example?

Is there a subject you are so interested in that you can't help but think about? Whatever you do, it can’t seem to get out of your head? Well, that’s what has happened to me about leadership? It is a subject that I am fond of. Hint: it was my specialization in my recent MBA - it probably increased my passion for it. 

As I studied about the subject over the years, I realized there are lots of written materials on the subject. This shows that the interest is high and rightfully so, because in one way or another we are all leaders and hopefully we aspire to be great leaders. 

I am particularly interested in leadership stories. I love stories because they have a way of connecting deeply with people and make learning more fun. Stories tend to be inspiring. 

But first, how do I define  leadership? There exists many definitions of leadership, but I prefer one that defines leadership as a complex phenomenon involving the leader, the followers and the situation. Each of these three factors is essential to fully grasp leadership; otherwise we may miss its full extent. As I share weekly posts on this subject, I intend to highlight each one of  them, through stories. 

Today, I would like to share with you, a leadership story which emphasizes an important aspect of a leader – leading by example.

Over 200 years ago, a man in civilian clothes rode past a small group of tired and battled weary soldiers. They were digging what appeared to be an important defensive position. 

The leader of the group wasn’t making any effort to help. He just shouted orders and threatened to punish the group if the work wasn’t completed within the hour. 

“Why aren’t you helping?” the stranger asked on horseback.

“I’m in charge! The men do as I tell them,” said the leader. He added "Help them yourself if you feel so strongly about it."

To the mean leader’s surprise the stranger got off his horse and helped the men until the job was finished. 

Before he left the stranger congratulated the men for their work, and approached the confused leader. 

“You should notify top command next time your rank prevents you from supporting your men – and I will provide a more permanent solution,” the stranger said.

Up close, the now humbled leader recognized General George Washington and was taught a lesson he would never forget. 

Now just picture that scene.  I can imagine how ashamed the mean leader must have felt? This was probably followed by the fear of what would happen next. 

Let's look at our own life. Can you recall being or witnessing a similar situation - both of good and mean leaders? What did you learn from them? 

As I read this, I recalled an incidence I witnessed in a hotel some years ago. As I was walking heading to the terrace, I saw the hotel manager who was standing next to a piece of paper that was on the ground– basically litter. He called out to one of the staff and ordered him to pick it up.  As he walked away before he could see if his order was executed, this person also called his junior staff and ordered him to go pick it up. I could not believe it. So I decided to ask the second man (the manager was too far off at this point) why he had not picked it up himself; he answered confidently that it wasn’t his job and that he was the supervisor to that other junior person who eventually picked it up. What could have taken seconds to be dealt with, took longer. Needless to say, the person who picked it up didn’t look pleased. He probably felt bad, there was no one under him. With such behavior and organizational culture, it is no surprise that customer service in such hotels is very poor. 

“A leader leads by example whether he knows it or not.” Author Unknown 

On the other hand, as Rwandans, we have been blessed to have leaders in our country who walk the talk. Take the policy of cleanliness. It didn’t just take a policy or an instruction; it took the example of the leaders starting from the Highest Office. Activities like Umuganda at community level where all neighbors from different social status come together to partake in a common and mutually beneficial activity, provide a great example of good leadership – leading by example. By these actions, leaders’ attitude shows that they care about the citizens. They are part of them. As a result, it is easy to be loyal to them. 

“What you do has far greater impact than what you say.” Stephen Covey 

So remember that as a leader, your best tool is to lead by example. We are all leaders in one way or another. It doesn’t take a position to be leader, it is a choice to act. So this week, try to lead by example. Remember that: 

“Leadership is action, not position” Ronald H. McGannon

Please, do share your experiences; I would love to hear from you. 

Procrastination - Why this blog is late...

Do you ever get really motivated to do something and you really get excited about it and when it’s time to get down and do it, you’re just like nah!? 
Well, that is exactly what happened to me this week. (arghh!) : procrastination!  A case in point, I should have written and posted this blog by Monday or Tuesday, but instead...

As I was trying to find a cure to this (yes, it's a disease!!) I researched on the topic. I learned that procrastination is a common phenomenon to many people especially when we have to deal with lots of projects or huge tasks. As a result, we put off things for a later time and it affects our productivity and our mood too. In an attempt to self medicate, I looked up the different ways to beat procrastination. 
As a recovered patient (for now☺), I thought I would share with you some tips that worked for me. 

Set One realistic goal to achieve
I am all about goals this year and as I was looking up my to do list, I was overwhelmed and just didn’t know where to start. As I learned procrastination can be a result of feeling overwhelmed with many projects, some with non-specific requirements or deadlines.  In such a case you will need to prioritize and focus on one single goal. In my case I decided to focus on one goal: the blog. I discovered that undertaking one project helps you focus your energy and provide you with the drive to do it. 

Think of many things, do one.” Portuguese Proverb

Force yourself to take action
This may sound strange. If you could just force yourself to do it, you would not procrastinate in the first place, right? Well, I was also surprised to read about this as a solution, but it works. Last week I attended an event discussing college requirements for my high school children at their school. During the Q&A session, one of the students asked how to beat procrastination which hinders her from completing assignments on time.  One of the presenter simply answered; "You just have to force yourself to do the assignments. Don’t overthink it, just do it."  That’s exactly what I did to write this post and complete it. I just forced myself to start writing even before I had decided about a specific subject. As I was writing down different thoughts - literally in the middle of that exercise - I thought about writing on procrastination. So, I did.  

"The way to start is to quit talking and start doing." Walt Disney

Break down tasks into smaller parts
Dealing with a huge project – like annual report writing, or a school assignment can seem overwhelming, especially if it to be done in one seating. It becomes more appealing or at least less daunting, when it is broken into small parts such as; finding a topic, research, outlining, drafting, writing, editing etc. Obviously the prerequisite for this would be to begin working on these small parts early enough rather than doing it few hours to the deadline. 

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started, the secret  of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one." Mark Twain

Don't drag your work till it's perfect 
Perfectionism is believed to be the excuse of procrastinators. Well, I don’t’ necessarily believe that, probably because I have fallen prey to it, yet I must admit it can be a hindrance. I used to think it was a quality, but it has let me down more often than not. The worst consequence has been missing a deadline because I was not happy with the final work – just yet. But sometimes missing a deadline is perceived as a lack of respect towards those who expect the work at a certain time, even if the work is splendid. So sometimes, you are better off doing your best work and handing it in rather than dragging it. 

"Perfectionism is the mother of Procrastination." Michael Hyatt

Reward yourself for completing tasks
This is one of my favorites. We tend to be too hard on ourselves when we fail to accomplish a task and it seems easier to blame ourselves for failure than to reward ourselves for success. This may be natural but it can also be detrimental if we want to fight procrastination and get back to our productive self. Personally, I work well with positive incentives than with the negatives especially when feeling low. According to some research it seems that even if your task is something you dislike, you can motivate yourself into doing it if you promise to treat yourself upon its completion. 
So next time you achieve that goal, especially on days when you beat temptation; do reward yourself - a homemade banana smoothie perhaps?

"Stop beating yourself up for what you've done wrong and start celebrating what you've done right!" Roz Fruchtman

Beat procrastination with prayer
This last tip is probably the strongest. Whenever procrastination starts creeping in, you may want to ask God to guide you by giving direction for the day, to help you prioritize and give you strength to act. Procrastination is considered in the word of God.  In Romans 13: 4 it is said: “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” A sluggard means a lazy person (what a name!)
From the scriptures, it is clear that Christians are encouraged to be diligent and there is even a promise attached to it. Thus it is natural to reach out to God for help in our pursuit of diligence when we are falling short; and God is faithful. 
Well, I don't know about you, but I would not like to be called a sluggard!

That's been my story this week. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I hope you will find these tips useful. And if you have any experience beating procrastination, I would love to hear from you as well. 

Now, let's get some more work done. Did I say NOW?

Easy steps towards a better self: dealing with disappointment

“There comes a time when you realize that you are on your own. And you just have to suck it up, no whining, no complaining, and no expecting, because in the end disappointment is inevitable."

However much we get disappointed in life, we never seem to get comfortable with that feeling. Yet, as we pursue our goals, we are bound to meet disappointment along the way. 

Perhaps you were unable to get that scholarship, or you failed to get the job you applied for, or your business is not meeting its financial goals etc.  As result, you may be tempted to give up on your goals thinking that if you don’t have expectations, you won’t get disappointed. 

Well, I don’t think that’s the right move. It’s like burying one’s head in the sand. Rather than facing the challenge, we sometimes choose to close our eyes and pretend it didn’t happen. 
The truth is that whether we have expectations or not, we are bound to face disappointments in our life one way or another. 

The question then becomes how do we deal with disappointment while keeping hope alive? I believe that there exist different ways to overcome disappointment. Let me share some simple steps that you might consider: 

Learn from your defeats

One truth, however hard it may sound, is that disappointment and failure build character and patience. 

As it is said in Romans 5:3-4 : " ... we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope."
Disappointments and defeats do teach us to win and lose with grace. 

After a disappointment, it is essential to take time to learn from the experience: 

Ask yourself: 

What can I learn about myself? 
What can I learn about my perspective of the situation? 
What can I learn from all this that will help me approach things differently in the future? 

The temptation might be to forget about the disappointment and move on rather than trying to understand what happened. However this would be a lost opportunity as there is always a lesson to learn and once we learn from it, we actually gain. As Zig Ziglar said; if you learn from defeat you haven't really lost.

Don't shut yourself off; Reach out
It can be tempting to shut out friends and family when we feel vulnerable – which is how we often feel after a disappointment, yet this can have a negative effect. It can seal off healing and hope. Friendships are an important asset in your life. If you have built great friendships, your friends will help you during the tough times. They will give you the strength to endure and hope.
While friends are great, as humans they can sometimes err and let us down. They may even be the reason of our disappointment. In this case you should consider reaching out to the one who would never desert you. There is no one else but God.  The Bible says: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you”. Deuteronomy 31:6

As this verse says, we could consider ‘them’ as the disappointments or challenges we face in our everyday life. As a believer, I am convinced about God’s love and the more we put our trust in His enduring love, the less power disappointment will have to undermine our hopes. 

Focus on ultimate hope

As we face disappointments we tend to get stuck and focus on our current situation, forgetting that this is NOT the end of the story. As a matter of fact, it might just be the beginning of another great story. So we must keep the hope. Hope is the one thing that never disappoints. 

In fact, we should consider disappointment as an opportunity to start over.

No matter what, we must keep the big picture and continue to chase our dreams. After all, smooth seas do not make great sailors. 

Martin Luther King said: 

“we must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."

In other words, disappointment is a reality and it hurts in a given period. Yet, we must always remember to save a bit of our emotions to keep hope alive. 

Are you thinking out of the box?

Legend has it that in a small Italian town, hundreds of years ago, a small business owner owed a large sum of money  to a loan-shark. The loan-shark was a very old, unattractive looking guy that just happened to fancy the business owner’s daughter.

He decided to offer the business man a deal that would completely wipe out the debt he owed him. However, the catch was that he would only wipe out the debt if he could marry the businessman’s daughter. Needless to say, this proposal was met with a look of disgust.

The loan-shark said that he would place two pebbles into a bag, one white and one black.

The daughter would then have to reach into the bag and pick out the pebble. If it was black, the debt would be wiped out, but the loan-shark would then marry her. If it was white, the debt would also be wiped, but the daughter wouldn’t marry the loan-shark.

Standing on a pebble strewn path in the businessman’s garden, the loan-shark bent over and picked up two pebbles. Whilst he was picking them up, the daughter noticed that he’d picked up two black pebbles and placed them both into the bag. He then asked the daughter to reach into the bag and pick one.

The daughter naturally had three choices as to what she could have done:

1. Refuse to pick a pebble from the bag.

2. Take both pebbles out of the bag and expose the loan-shark for cheating.

3. Pick a pebble from the bag fully well knowing it was black and sacrifice herself for her father’s freedom.

She drew out a pebble from the bag, and before looking at it ‘accidentally’ dropped it into the midst of the other pebbles. She said to the loan-shark;

“Oh, how clumsy of me. Never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.”

The pebble left in the bag is obviously black, and seeing as the loan-shark didn’t want to be exposed, he had to play along as if the pebble the daughter dropped was white, and clear her father’s debt.

Smart move, right?

I couldn’t help but ask myself how many of us would respond to challenging situations in a similar fashion.  When we face difficulties, do we only consider the natural three choices we have or do we seek the unexpected response?

Whatever your answer is; this story shows that there is always an unforeseen (not so obvious) option. It is likely an unconventional one.  It is the creative option. And it is quite rewarding.

I can only imagine the joy of this girl as she helped her dad clear his debt while avoiding to get married to this unattractive (and treacherous) man. 

So in the course of this year, whenever you face challenges, please remember to go beyond the natural choices; think out of the box and let your creativity expand. 

I believe that if we use our creativity, we too can think out of the box.

EINSTEIN SAID: “CREATIVITY IS SEEING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE HAS SEEN, AND THINKING WHAT NO ONE ELSE HAS THOUGHT.”